Profession Jokes

Old Jewish Man

An old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California when all of a sudden he gets cut off. He hollers, "Operator, giff me beck the party!" She says, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to make the call all over again." He says, "What do you want from my life? Giff me beck da party." She says, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to place the call again." He says, "Operator, ya know vat? Take da telephone and shove it in you-know-vere!" And he hangs up. Two days later he opens the door and there are two big, strapping guys standing there who say, "We came to take your telephone out." He says, "Vy?" They say, "Because you insulted Operator 28 two days ago. But if you'd like to call up and apologize, we'll leave the telephone here." He says, "Vait a minute, vat's da rush, vat's da hurry?" He goes to the telephone and dials. "Hello? Get me Operator 28. Hello, Operator28? Remember me? Two days ago I insulted you? I told you to take da telephone and shove it in you-know-vere?" She says, "Yes?"He says, "Vell, get ready -- dey're bringin' it to ya!"

Categories: Religion Jokes (Jewish Jokes) , Profession Jokes , Telephone Jokes (Wrong Number Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Bad and Worse News

A man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.
Doctor: "Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news."
Man: "Well, give me the really bad news first."
Doctor: "You have cancer, and only 6 months to live."
Man: "And the bad news?"
Doctor: "You have Alzheimer's disease."
Man: "That's great. I was afraid I had cancer!"

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Alzheimer's Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Cancer Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Motorcycle Crash

I looked out of my window in horror yesterday as a crowd gathered around a crashed motorcyclist. I rushed outside yelling, "Let me through, let me through" A man at the front said, "Thank God for that, are you a Doctor"?
I said "No, that's my fucking Pizza"

Categories: Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Anonymous