Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts, "Save the women!" George W. Bush hysterically hollers, "Screw the women!" Bill Clinton's asks excitedly, "Do we have time?"

Monster Valentine's Gift

Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's?
Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you.
Boy Monster: Is it still beating?

First Five Hundred

Treat the bride like a new car, go easy for the first 500.