What Tax?

This kid walks into the pharmacy: "I've a hot date tonight, a sure thing, and my buddies said you could fix me up for it." "What do you want?" "Well, it's a hot date, man. A sure thing? You know..." "What do you want?" "I need some protection, alright??" "What size?" "Size? I dunno... Whatever is considered average I guess." "That'll be $2.35 including tax." "Tacks?! Tacks?! I thought they stayed on by themselves!"

Gardening Cow

Q: What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A: A lawn moo-er.

Feminist Faux Pas

I don't think the leading feminist realized what she was saying when she told a reporter, "As long as women are split like we are, men will remain on top."