God Grants Three Wishes

After praying nonstop for eight years, God finally decided to grant a man three wishes. "I wish for the coolest cars in the universe." "Done." "I wish for the most luxurious mansion in the universe." "Done." "And I wish for the best woman in the world." So God sent him Mother Theresa.

Witchy Candle

Q: Why is a witch like a candle?
A: They are both wicked!

Who Gets It

There are 3 people walking down the street: the perfect man, the perfect woman, and Mickey Mouse. They see a $50 bill on the street. Who picks it up? The perfect woman, because the other two are fictional characters!