Medical Terms - Ebonics Style!

Medical Terminology - Ebonics Style:
Benign - What you be after you be eight.
Artery - The study of paintings.
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria.
Barium - What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section - A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan - Searching for kitty.
Cauterize - Made eye contact with her.
Colic - A sheep dog.
Coma - A punctuation mark.
D & C - Where Washington is.
Dilate - To live long.
Enema - Not a friend.
Fester - Quicker than someone else.
Fibula - A small lie.
Genital - Non-Jewish person.
G.I. Series - World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail - What you hang your coat on.
Impotent - Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane.
Morbid - A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates.
Node - Was aware of
Outpatient - A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear - A fatherhood test.
Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative - A letter carrier.
Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery.
Rectum - Darn near killed him.
Secretion - Hiding something.
Seizure - Roman emperor.
Tablet - A small table.
Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the Bus Station
Tumor - More than one.
Urine - Opposite of you're out.
Varicose - Near by/close by.
Vein - Conceited.

Full Fledged Alaskan

There's this guy and he lives in the second largest state in America, which is California, and he want's to live in the largest state of America which is Alaska. So he goes there for a few weeks and decides he wants to become a full-fledged Alaskan, so he goes in this pub to ask a bar man what he has to do to become a full fledged Alaskan. The bar man say's "First you drink this liter of whisky, then you've got to kill a bear, and find a woman and rape her." The guy gets confused, so he asked the bar man to repeat it. He comes back a week later beaten to shit. "What happened to you?" said the bar man. "I'm nearly a full fledged alaskan, all I gotta do now is kill a woman"!

Nice Face

Nice face ...what are you going to do when the baboon wants his ass back?