Early Birds

Very early one morning two birds were sitting at the side of a large puddle of oil. They see a worm on the other side. So... the one flies over and the other one swims through. Which one gets to the worm first? The one who swam, of course, because "Da oily boid gets da woim."

The Lord's Prayer Remix

A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end..."And lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."

E.T.s Eyes

Q: Why are E.T.s eyes so big?
A: Because he saw the phone bill.