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The best jokes and joke writers!

Cow Twitch

Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?

A: Beef Jerky!

Scripture Saves the Day

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening worship service and was startled to find an intruder in her house. Catching the man in the act of burglarizing her home, she yelled, "STOP! Acts 2:38!" ("Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.") As the burglar stopped dead in his tracks, the woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. Shortly, several officers arrived and took the man into custody. As he was placing the handcuffs on the burglar, one of the officers asked, "Why did you just stand there? All the lady did was mention a scripture verse." "Scripture?" replied the burglar. "She said she had an axe and two 38's!"

Toilet Talk

Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet? 

A: You look a bit flushed.

Red Tomato

Q: Why did the tomato turn red?

A: Because he saw the salad dressing!

Little Johnny and Geometry

Teacher: "Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, 'geometry.'" Little Johnny: "A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'"