Monica Lewinsky Fired

Q: What did Monica Lewinsky say when she got fired?
A: I had a good job and I blew it.

Half of the Senate

A member of the United States Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in mid-session and began to shout, "Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!" All the other Senators demanded that the angry member withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session. After a long pause, the angry member acquiesced. "OK," he said, "I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!"

Dracula's Soup

Q: What's Dracula's favorite soup?
A: Scream of tomato!