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The best jokes and joke writers!

Driving Through Fog

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?

A: Your steering wheel.

Speeding on a Rainy Day

A guy gets pulled over for speeding on a rainy day. The cop says, "Isn't it kind of stupid to be driving so fast in this weather?" The driver says, "Who's stupid? I'm dry in my car. You're the one who's standing out in the rain."

Even More Bumper Stickers!

  • Heart Attacks... God's Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends
  • How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?
  • I'm an imbecile and I vote
  • Money Isn't Everything... But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch
  • If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
  • 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
  • Grow your own dope, plant a man
  • All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
  • Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
  • I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
  • BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
  • I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  • All men are idiots...I married their king.
  • Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs
  • Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill it
  • We are born naked, wet, and hungry....Then things get worse.

Road Lessons

While on a trip with the family, I thought it would be good to teach my 5 year old daughter some things. As we past a sign I told her that is the name of the town for the next exit. As we past the exit I told her how we were passing the town. A few exits later she noticed the sign for gas. As we passed the exit, much to her delight, she informed us we were passing gas. 

Siamese Twins in England

Q: Why did the Siamese twins move to England?

A: So the other one could drive.