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The best jokes and joke writers!

Why Ask Why - 2

  • Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
  • Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
  • Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  • Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
  • Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
  • You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
  • Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
  • You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
  • Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

My Car

A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of his trunk! He runs around and yells, "Hey, bud, this is my car!" "OK," the man says, "You take the front and I`ll take the back."

Showing You the World

A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road when her car breaks down. She goes to the nearest farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, ''My car broke down! I don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until I can get some help tomorrow?'' ''Well,'' drawls the farmer, ''you can stay here, but I don't want you messin' with my sons Jed and Luke.'' The blonde looks through the screen door and sees two men standing behind the farmer. ''Okay,'' she says. After going to bed, the woman begins to get a little hot thinking about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says, ''Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?'' They say, ''Huh?'' She says, ''The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers.'' She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go at it all night long. Forty years later Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth. Jed says, ''Luke? You remember that blonde woman that came by here forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?'' ''Yeah,'' says Luke, ''I remember.'' ''Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?'' asks Jed. ''Nope,'' says Luke, ''I reckon not.'' ''Me neither,'' says Jed. ''Let's take these things off.''

Bumper Stickers

All generalizations are false, including this one.

"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.

I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 

Driving In Fog

Q: When driving through fog what should you use?

A: Your car!