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The best jokes and joke writers!

Angry Drivers Meet

In a very small alley two trucks driving in opposite directions meet. As the drivers are equally stubborn, neither of them wants to reverse. They angrily look one at the other. Finally, one of them picks up a newspaper and starts reading. The other one politely asks, "When you've finished the paper, will you please bring it over, and let me read it?" 

Difference Between Flashing Lights

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?

A: The color.

Crowded D.C. Bridge

In Washington D.C., helicopters are often used to monitor the traffic conditions. Frequently jammed is the Francis Scott Key bridge, named after the man who wrote the national anthem. The bridge's traffic problem is notorious; among some, it's known as the Car Strangled Spanner.

Why Ask Why - 2

  • Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
  • Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
  • Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  • Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
  • Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
  • You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
  • Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
  • You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
  • Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

My Car

A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of his trunk! He runs around and yells, "Hey, bud, this is my car!" "OK," the man says, "You take the front and I`ll take the back."