Condom Convention

A representative for a condom company is on her way to a convention. While rushing through the airport, she drops the briefcase carrying her samples of condoms all over the floor. As she is stuffing all the condoms back into her briefcase, she notices tourists giving her crazy looks. "It's ok, she says, "I am doing a huge convention."

The Bus Bench

There were three guys waiting for a bus on a bench when the first guy farts, 'WHOOOSSHHHHH....'No one brought attention to it. Then suddenly the second guy farts, 'WHOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH........Again, no one thought anything of it until the third guy let one,'PPPPPPPPUUUUUUHHHHHHHH...'The first two guys then looked at the third guy and simultaneously said, "STRAIGHT."

Pilot On Drugs

10. All the in-flight meals are missing their dessert squares.
9. In between "May I" and "have your attention" there's a 45 minute pause.
8. He's constantly yelling, "Take that, Red Baron!"
7. Shuttle from New York to Boston includes stop-over in Colombia
6. His co-pilot: Robert Downey Jr.
5. For the last hour, he's been riding the beverage cart like a rodeo cowboy.
4. Keeps coming on the P.A. to point out clouds that look like his old high school teachers.
3. His wings are pinned to his bare chest.
2. When you fly over international date line, he yells, "Dude! We're, like, time traveling!"
1. When he exhales, the oxygen masks drop.