10 More Signs You Might Be a Redneck

You might be a redneck if...

1. Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off it.
2. In an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
3. Your idea of a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
4. You go to a tupperware party for a haircut.
5. You've ever spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
6. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
7. Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
8. Your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care.
9. The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
10. Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.

Top Ten Television Shows in Iraq

1. "Husseinfeld"
2. "Mad About Everything"
3. "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
4. "Suddenly Sanctions"
5. "Allah McBeal"
6. Wheel of Fortune and Terror"
7. "Achmed's Creek"
8. "Iraq's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
9. "Buffy The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs"
10. "Just Shoot Me"

Computers are Female

The top six reasons computers must be female:
6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE: As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.