Top 10 Lists
Why Television Is Better Than The Web
10. It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.
9. When was the last time you tuned in to "Melrose Place" and got a "Error 404" message?
8. There are fewer grating color schemes on TV even on MTV.
7. The family never argues over which Web site to visit this evening.
6. A remote control has fewer buttons than a keyboard.
5. Even the worst TV shows never excuse themselves with an "Under Construction" sign.
4. Seinfeld never slows down when a lot of people tune in.
3. You just can't find those cool Health Rider infomercials on the Web.
2. Set-top boxes don't beep and whine when you hook up to HBO.
1. You can't surf the Web from a couch with a beer in one hand and Doritos in the other.
Internet Can Get Worse
Top ten ways the Internet could get worse;
10. Rigorous user screening process abolished by America On-Line.
9. "MAKE MONEY FAST" posts protected by 1st amendment, declare internet lawyers Canter & Siegel.
8. Home shopping "network".
7. Netrek corporate sponsors. Out: Orion, Pollux, Klingus. In: Planet Bud, Toyota Prime, Intelworld.
6. Sun internet servers replaced with pentiums.
5. Dan Quayle appointed head of "bandwidth expansion tiger team".
4. Free netcom account with purchase of big mac.
3. GameBoy web browsers.
2. Tipper Gore cancel-bot unleashed onto the net.
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THE INTERNET CAN GET WORSE
1. Two words: "Microsoft Network"
Top 10 New Intel Slogans For the Pentium
TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM
9.9999973251 - It's a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug
8.9999163362 - It's the new math
7.9999414610 - Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes
6.9999831538 - You Don't Need to Know What's Inside
5.9999835137 - Redefining the PC -- and Mathematics As Well
4.9999999021 - We Fixed It, Really
3.9998245917 - Division Considered Harmful
2.9991523619 - Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating* Point?
1.9999103517 - We're Looking for a Few Good Flaws
0.9999999998 - The Errata Inside
Top 10 - Basketball vs Sex
TOP 10 REASONS BASKETBALL IS BETTER THAN SEX...
10. Ball movement is key
9. You can set it up or go for the fastbreak
8. If you need a break, you can call a 20 second timeout
7. There is a coach telling you when to "Take it to the hole"
6. Being double-teamed is common
5. You can pass it off, so your buddy can score
4. If scouts like your performance, you turn pro
3. You know you are done when the horn sounds
2. You always try to score within 24 seconds
1. There's always someone with a towel to clean up any wet spots
Top 10 McGreevey Jokes
TOP 10 McGreevey Jokes
10. NJ state bird - swallow.
9. New Jersey Turnpike renamed Hershey Highway.
8. NJ raises terror alert level to lavender.
7. We know he didn't like bush, but this is ridiculous.
6. Now we know why McGreevey enjoyed "polling" so much.
5. What do McGreevey and the Israeli navy have in common? Jewish seamen.
4. NJ DMV now calls rear-end accidents a "mcgreevey".
3. Gives new meaning to "stuffing the ballot box."
2. Post headline: "McGreevey goes down!"
1. It shouldn't take McGreevey long to get out of the governor's mansion - he's already got all his schitt packed!