10 More Signs You Might Be a Redneck

You might be a redneck if...

1. Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off it.
2. In an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
3. Your idea of a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
4. You go to a tupperware party for a haircut.
5. You've ever spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
6. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
7. Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
8. Your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care.
9. The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
10. Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.

Top Ten Television Shows in Iraq

1. "Husseinfeld"
2. "Mad About Everything"
3. "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
4. "Suddenly Sanctions"
5. "Allah McBeal"
6. Wheel of Fortune and Terror"
7. "Achmed's Creek"
8. "Iraq's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
9. "Buffy The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs"
10. "Just Shoot Me"

Top Ten Things A Cat Thinks About

1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.
2. Is there something I'm not getting when humans make noise with their mouths?
3. Why doesn't the government do something about dogs?
4. I wonder if Morris really liked 9-Lives, or did he have ULTERIOR motives?
5. Hmmm ... If dogs serve humans, and humans serve cats, why can't we cats ever get these STUPID dogs to do anything for us?
6. This looks like a good spot for a nap.
7. Hey -- no kidding, I'm sure that's the can opener.
8. Would humans have built a vast and complex civilization of their own if we cats hadn't given them a reason to invent sofas and can openers in the first place?
9. If there's a God, how can He allow neutering?
10. If that really was the can opener, I'll play finicky just to let THEM know who's boss!