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The best jokes and joke writers!

Saddam's Palaces vs 50 Cent's House

Q: What's the difference between one of Saddam's palaces and a 50 cent's house?

A: You know your'e going to find weapons in 50 cent's house.

Screw The World

Q: What's the difference between Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton?

A: One wants to screw the world and one already has!

Military Expenses

  • Starting monthly salary for US Marine... $984.60
  • One Bradley Fighting Vehicle... $3.16 million
  • Humanitarian aid for Iraq... $20 billion
  • Kickin' back with the boys in Saddam's Palace... priceless

Saddam and George W. Bush Peace Talk

Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the First button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!" A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three buttons on Bush's chair and prepares himself for the Yank's revenge. They begin talking and Bush presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. George snickers. A few seconds later he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter. When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics. "Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!" Dubya says through tears of laughter, "What Baghdad?"

Sadam Look-Alikes

I heard that they got all of the Sadam look-alikes together and told them that they have some good news and some bad news. The good news was that Sadam survived the bombings, so they all still had jobs. One of the look-alikes asked "What's the bad news?" The bad news, they were told, was that he lost an arm and an eye.