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The best jokes and joke writers!

Saddam Drinking Out

Q: Why doesn't Saddam go out drinking?

A: Why should he when he can get bombed at home?

Saddam Stamp

Saddam HUSSEIN of Iraq wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He so instructed his Postmaster General, stressing that it should be of international quality. The stamps were duly released of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and become furious. He called the chief of the Secret Service and ordered him to investigate the matter. The chief checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported on the problem to him. He said: "Sir, the stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!"

Gulf War Remembered!

Q: What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common?

A: Nothing, yet.

 

Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?

A: Turkey.

 

Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?

A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.

 

Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?

A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from!

 

Q: What is the best Iraqi job?

A: Foreign Ambassador

 

Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. They can't turn them on anyway.

 

Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of US $8,000,000.

 

Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."

 

Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?

A: You only have to teach them to take off.

 

Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo ?

A: B-52... F-16... A-10

 

Q: What is Iraq's national bird?

A: Duck

 

Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile?

A: Aeroflot has killed more people.

 

Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone?

A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

 

Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?

A: So they can see their Air Force.

 

Q: Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss?

A: He elected to receive.

 

Q: Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper?

A: They need a map...

 

Military Expenses

  • Starting monthly salary for US Marine... $984.60
  • One Bradley Fighting Vehicle... $3.16 million
  • Humanitarian aid for Iraq... $20 billion
  • Kickin' back with the boys in Saddam's Palace... priceless

Sadam Look-Alikes

I heard that they got all of the Sadam look-alikes together and told them that they have some good news and some bad news. The good news was that Sadam survived the bombings, so they all still had jobs. One of the look-alikes asked "What's the bad news?" The bad news, they were told, was that he lost an arm and an eye.