Cat Knows Password

1. E-mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy." 
2. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.
3. You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip..
4. Your mouse has teeth marks in it... and a strange aroma of tuna. 
5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computers, Inc. about thier release of "Cyber-Dog."
6. Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it. 
7. You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.
8. On IRC you're known as the Iron-Mouser.
9. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.

A Hooker And A Engineer

Q: What do you get when you cross a hooker with a systems engineer?
A: A fuckin know-it-all!

Facebook Post

I was offered sex today with a 21 year old girl. In exchange I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I'm a person of high moral standards with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner, now available scented lemon or vanilla.