Technology Jokes

Husband writes code.

Wife : Honey, please go to the super market and get 1 bottle of milk. If they have bananas, bring 6.

He came back with 6 bottles of milk.

Wife: Why the hell did you buy 6 bottles of milk?!?!

Husband (confused): BECAUSE THEY HAD BANANAS.

He still doesn't understand why his wife yelled at him since he did exactly as she told him.

We were watching this commercial on television. Commercial said, 'If you're having problems with your mama whipping you, call this 800 number.' I called that number. My mama answered the phone.

Q: Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped on the chewing gum?

A: He got stuck in orbit !

Q: How many members of the USS Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Six.  Scotty to get on the intercom when the light goes out and say, "I canna do it, Cap'n!".  Spock to tell Kirk he is proceeding illogically.  McCoy to say "Dammit, Jim -- I'm a doctor not an electrician!!"  Kirk to screw it in and two red-shirt security officers to die in the process.

The guy who invented predictive text died last night.

His funfair is next monkey.