Hired Man and the Farmer's Daughter With a Twist
"How did it happen?" the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man's broken leg. "Well, doc, 25 years ago ..." "Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning." "Like I was saying...25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I'd gone to bed, the farmer's beautiful daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I wanted. I said no, everything is fine. "Are you sure?", she asked. "I'm sure, I said. "Isn't there anything I can do for you?" she wanted to know. "I reckon not" I replied ..."Excuse me," said the doctor, "What does this story have to do with your leg?" "Well, this morning, " the farmhand explained, "when it dawned on me what she meant, I fell off the roof!"
Men and Women
Q: What's the difference between men and women?
A: Women must play hard to get; men must get hard to play!
What Men Hear When Women Speak
What a woman says: "This place is a mess. C'mon, you and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor, and you'll have no clothes to wear, if we don't do laundry right now!"
What a man hears: "blah, blah, blah, blah, C'mon blah, blah, blah, blah, you and I blah, blah, blah, blah, on the floor blah, blah, blah, blah, no clothes blah, blah, blah, blah, right now!"
Five to Six Inches Deeper
This fellow was screwing his best friend's wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. "What the hell is your problem?" the lady asked. "I feel like a regular son of a bitch, getting my best friends pussy," the man moaned. The lady reached over and patted him on the back. "Well, if that's all it is, you can stop worrying," she said. "You're not getting his pussy. His pussy is five to six inches deeper."
What kind of clothes are there?
Women: clean & dirty
Men: Clean, almost clean, sorta clean, not bad, dirty, really dirty, nasty, bio-hazard.