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The best jokes and joke writers!

What Men Hear When Women Speak

What a woman says: "This place is a mess. C'mon, you and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor, and you'll have no clothes to wear, if we don't do laundry right now!"

What a man hears: "blah, blah, blah, blah, C'mon blah, blah, blah, blah, you and I blah, blah, blah, blah, on the floor blah, blah, blah, blah, no clothes blah, blah, blah, blah, right now!"

When Man Is Smartest

Q: Why is a man at his smartest when he is having sex?

A: Because he's plugged into a woman!

Clothing State

What kind of clothes are there?

Women: clean & dirty

Men: Clean, almost clean, sorta clean, not bad, dirty, really dirty, nasty, bio-hazard.

A Husband

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

God being Man

Q: How do we know that God is a man?

A: Because if God was a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.