Women's T-Shirt Sayings

• I'm out of estrogen. I have a gun.
• Guys have feelings, too. But like... who cares?
• I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
• Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
• I hate everybody, and you're next.
• Please don't make me kill you.
• And your point is ...
• I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
• I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
• Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
• Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later.
• You KNOW you want me. 
• Don't worry. It'll only seem kinky the first time.
• Of course I don't look busy. . . I did it right the first time.
• Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
• I'm multitalented: I can talk and annoy you at the same time.
• Do NOT start with me. You won't win.
• You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
• All stressed out and no one to choke.
• I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
• How can I miss you if you won't go away?
• Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
• If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
• Nobody knows I'm not wearing underwear.
• Don't make me mad. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
• Objects Under This Shirt ARE Larger Than They Appear.

Will Rogers On Men

Q:  How could Will Rogers say, "I never met a man I didn't like"?
A:  He never had to date one.

The Crazies

A man is walking along the road, when he hears someone shouting, "Twelve! Twelve!" over a fence. As he walks closer to the fence, they start shouting, "Thirteen! Thirteen!" Curious, the man looks through a gap in the fence. Suddenly he's poked in the eye by a man on the other side, and as he lies there, clutching his head, the man hears, "Fourteen! Fourteen!"