Sex Jokes - Private Parts

My young nephew Tommy asked me how babies are made. I had no idea how to approach it so I looked online and found a video that explains it all. At the end of the video I told him, "It's basically just like that, only the white goo on her face should have gone up her pussy and normally there isn't a horse involved."

One night a lady pregnant with triplets was walking by and a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her in the stomach three times. Her doctor told her that he couldn't perform surgery because it would be too risky. All was well for 16 years when one of the girls came running into the room crying. "Whats wrong?" asked the mother. "I was taking a pee and a bullet came out". "It's okay" said the mom and explained what happened 16 years ago. A week later the other girl came running into the room crying, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out?" "Yes" replied the girl. "It's okay" said the mom and explained what happened 16 years ago. A week later the boy came running in crying, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out. "No" replied the boy, "I was playing with myself and shot the dog!!!!"

Q: What is 6.9?

A: 69 screwed up by a period.

Two guys are at the doctor's office, each has got a problem with his "jimmy." One guy gets called in to see the doctor and comes back out five minutes later. The guy in the waiting room says, "Well, what'd he say?" The first guy tells him that the doctor said to just take a shower and the ring around his unit will come right off. So the next guy goes in thinking, "Great -- just take a shower." But instead the doctor tells him that they are going to have to operate. "Why?" he asks, "The other guy just had to take a shower." The doctor says, "Well, there's a big difference between lipstick and gangrene."

Top 10 Halloween Things That Sound Dirty

10. She's a goblin!

9. I'd like to get a little something sweet in the sack.

8. Let me see your bag....wow! You're having a great night!

7. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.

6. She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch

5. If you just lick it, it'll last longer.

4. Show me your JuJuBees and I'll let you see my Zagnuts.

3. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth

2. You scared me stiff!

1. He's got Candy spread out on the living room floor!