Sex Jokes - Private Parts

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy. The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.

Q: What is the definition of Agony?

A: A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.

Q: What is the difference between jelly and jam?

A: You can't jelly your dick in a vagina. 

A soldier goes into the hospital for surgery after being wounded in battle. Waking up from the anesthesia he sees his doctor standing at his bedside. "So tell me Doc, what did you do to me?" The doctor says, "Son, we have some good news and some bad news." "Yeah, what?" replies the patient. "Well the good news is that we were able to save your private parts." "Yes, that is good news Doc, but what about the bad news?" "We put them under your pillow!"

This chick walks into a doctor's office. The nurse tells her to take off her clothes, and that the doctor will be with her in a minute. She obeys.

The doctor walks in and takes off his coat. He begins to feel between her thighs.
Doctor: "Do you know what I'm doing now?"
Woman: "You're checking for menopause."
Doctor: "Very good."

Then, he starts to feel her tits.
Doctor: "Do you know what I'm doing now?"
Woman: "Checking for breast cancer."
Doctor: "Very good."

Then, he jumps on her and penetrates her.
Doctor: "Do you know what I'm doing now?"
Woman: "Contracting genital herpes. That's why I came to see you!"