Reporting In

Best man reading a telegram: From your friends on the H.M.C.S. Harmen, "At ten o clock, please report position and depth."

Lincoln JFK Coincidences

• Lincoln and JFK started politics 100 years apart.
• Lincoln and JFK were elected to office 100 years apart.
• Lincoln and JFKs' vice president's had the last name Johnson.
• Lincoln and JFK have 7 letters in their last name.
• Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy and Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln.
• Here's the BIG ONE: Lincoln, a week before his death, was in Monroe, Maryland. Kennedy, a week before his death, was in Marilyn Monroe!

Newly Married Hillbillies

A newly married hillbilly couple decided they wanted children, but didn't know how to go about it. Questions and conversations with friends and relatives proved no help, until a neighbor said they should go to town and ask the Big City Doctor. The doctor let them look at a child's book about where babies came from, but to no avail. He tried his own explanation but was met with blank stares. Exasperated, he took them to his private office, and showed them a porno movie. This was also useless. Angrily, he ordered the girl to strip, told the man to watch, and had sex with her on the couch. ''Now, do you understand?'' he asked. ''I just have one question. How many times a week do I have to bring her in for this?''