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Sex Jokes - Oral Sex Jokes
Cross a Rooster and Lollipop
Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster and a lollipop?
A: A c**ksucker.
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Coming Home Late
Dave's friends came up to him after work one day and asked him to go out for a few beers with them. Dave replied, ''No, I can't. My wife gets really pissed if I come home late.'' Dave's friend said, ''When you get home, just go slide beneath the sheets, pull her panties down and give her oral sex. She won't say anything.'' So Dave goes out with his friends and has a great time. When he comes home hours later, he goes into his room and slides beneath the sheets. He pulls down her panties and begins to give her oral sex. She starts to moan and groan. After a while, Dave tells her that he has to go take a leak and for her to wait there. When Dave gets to the bathroom he's stunned to see his wife sitting on the john. ''How did you get here?'' he asked. ''Shhhh,'' she replied, ''my mom is sleeping.''
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Frog in a Box
A young guy walks into a bar. An old drunk sits with a shoe box on the stool next to him. The guy asks, "What's in the box?" The older guy says matter-of-factly, "A South American Blow Job Toad." The young guy looks around. "Can I try it?" The older guy nods. The young guy goes to the men's room and returns 20 minutes later. "That was amazing," he says, "You've got to sell it to me." The old drunk concedes to sell the toad for a hefty sum. The happy young man struts home and meets his wife at the door. "Where the hell have you been? What's in the box?" she demands. "South American Blow Job Toad." "So?" asks the wife. "So, teach it to cook and get the f**k out."
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