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Sex Jokes - One Night Stand Jokes
Wrong Method
Two girls were roommates. One evening, Millie came running in, shedding clothes on the way to the bathroom. She yelled, "Hurry up Tillie, get ready for our date!" Tillie didn't know anything about the date and said so. Millie explained that she'd met two really great looking guys and had made dates for both of them for that evening. Tillie said, "I'm not going out on any more blind dates." "Why not?"" They're always the same," said Tillie, "It's sex, sex, sex! Nothing but a pain in the ass!" Millie looked at her in disbelief and exclaimed, "Honey, you're doing it wrong!"
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Animal Hook Up
A mouse and a lion were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a giraffe walked in. "Get a load of her" said the mouse, "what a babe!" "Well, why not try your luck?" replied the lion. So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to her. Within five minutes they're out the door and into the night. The next day, the lion was drinking in the bar, when the mouse staggered in. The mouse is completely worn out, and can hardly hold himself up. The lion helped his pal up on to a stool, poured a drink down his throat and said, "What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the giraffe, what happened after that? Was she all right?" The mouse replied, "Yeah, she was really something, we went out to dinner, had a couple of glasses of wine, and she invited me back to her place to spend the night. And oh, man! I've never had a night like it!" "But how come you look like you're so exhausted?" asked the lion. "Well" said the mouse, "between the kissing and the screwing, I must have run a thousand miles!"
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Stranded On An Island
A young kid's in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded on a tropical island. For twenty years he never sees another human being. Then one day a beautiful girl with long blond hair, her clothes half-ripped off, washes up on a piece of driftwood. He explains to her how he existed for twenty years, digging for clams, and eating fruits and berries. She says, "Well, what did you do for love?" He says, "Love? What's that?" She says, "I'll show you." She shows him. Then she shows him again. Then she shows him one more time. When they're finally done, she says, "Well, how do you like love?" He says, "It's great. But look what you did to my clam digger."
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