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The best jokes and joke writers!

BB's

There was this family who lived in the country, and the father took his boy out shooting. When they came back later that day the father put his BB gun on the top of the stove and hurried to the bathroom. He set it down so fast and hard that it opened and the BB's from the gun went right into mother's spaghetti sauce. She had seen the BB's and just figured that they couldn't hurt anyone, so she just served dinner anyways. Later that night the little girl ran down stairs saying, "mommy mommy I just peed BB's!"
"Well did it hurt you?" said the mom.
"No" said the girl.
"O.K. then don't worry it will go away." Then the little boy runs down stairs,
"Mommy mommy I just peed BB's!"
"Well did it hurt" she says?
"No" says the boy.
"O.K. then don't worry about it, it will go away." Later that night the father rushes down the stairs with his pants down -
"Honey, honey, I was just up stairs jacking off and I shot the dog!"

A Penis Study

In 1993, the University of Kentucky did a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $ 80,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex. After the study was published, the University of South Carolina decided to do their own study. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex. The University of Georgia, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

A Yankee

Q: What is a yankee?

A: A quickie, but you do it yourself.

Santa Joke

Santa comes once a year - but when he does he fills your stocking!

Little Gregory Wakes Up in the Middle of the Night

Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night feeling alone and scared. He goes into his mother's room for comfort and he sees his mom standing naked in front of the mirror. She is rubbing her chest and groaning, "I want a man, I want a man." Shaking his head in bewilderment, Gregory takes off to bed. Next night the same thing happens. On the third night, Gregory wakes up and goes into his mom's room but this time there is a man in bed with his mom. Gregory hoofs back to his room and whips off his pajamas, rubs his chest and groans " I want a bike, I want a bike!"