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The best jokes and joke writers!

Crazy Sally went to her Gynecologist...

Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of her. "To remove that vibrator," said the doctor, "I'm going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation." "I don't think I can afford that," said Sally. "Could you just replace the batteries?"

Snow White

Q: What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinoccio's nose?

A: "Tell a lie."

Who Needs Women?

A man walks into the bar and orders two shots of whiskey, drinks one, and pours the other shot in his hand. He does this 3 times before the bartender finally asks him, "Why is it you drink one shot and pour the other in your hand." The man replies, "I'm getting my girl friend drunk!"

Take Your Pick

An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the night after the wedding, he held up three fingers. "Oh honey," said the young nymph, "Does that mean we're going to do it three times?" "No." said the old man, "It means you can take your pick."

Washing the Clothes

John and Claire are just newly married. They are still a little shy about doing the "wild thing", so they decide to just refer to it as "washing the clothes". One night, Claire invites some of her friends over for dinner, but John is really horny and doesn't want to have to entertain their guests. So, as Claire is serving the main course, he whispers in her ear, "Let's go wash the clothes". Claire is horrified that he could even suggest such a thing while they're entertaining, and she refuses.  John tries again, but she won't give in. Claire tells him instead to go upstairs and get the candle holders from the hall closet.

Frustrated, John slowly walks up the stairs to get them.  While he's upstairs, Claire thinks of the fun they'd have if they COULD "wash the clothes".  Nah, she thinks. Not now.  But eventually her imagination gets the best of her and she tells the maid to run upstairs and tell John that she'll be up in a minute to help him. The maid finds John upstairs in the bedroom and tells him that his wife will be up in a minute to help him wash the clothes. "Tell her it's ok," says John. "I already did them by hand."