Sex Jokes - Masturbation Jokes

JokerZ offers a HUGE collection of funny dirty jokes. Check out our professionally curated categories for hilarious adult jokes and sex jokes. Set your filter on Risque and Uncensored to browse dirty knock-knock jokes, inappropriate jokes and one liners from professional joke writers. Over 3000 of the best dirty jokes will have you ROFL. Share jokes anonymously with friends or post on social sites.

Court Rules

A young man is in court. He's driving everyone mad with his loud and incessant chewing. The judge looks over and says "For the love of God man would you stop masticating"
To which he replies in a panicked voice "I wasn't, I wasn't, I swear, I just had my hands in my pockets"

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Profession Jokes (Judge Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Masturbation Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous

Literal Actions

Two polish guys walk into a bar and sit down on the stools. All of a sudden, they start masturbating furiously, until the bar owner comes along and screams, "HEY, what the FUCK are you guys doing?! " One of the guys says, "The sign says: FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE!"

Categories: Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Sex Jokes (Masturbation Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Polish Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Vasectomy Clinic

Two guys have 9 a.m. appointments at a vasectomy clinic. A young nurse preps them for surgery. She tells the first guy to take off his clothes and sit on an exam table. Then, she takes his manhood in her hands and masturbates him. She tells him that it is standard procedure to make sure there are no blockages. Once done, the nurse tells him to sit down and repeats her instructions to the second guy. When he is on the exam table, the nurse gives him a blow job. Upon seeing this, the first guy says, "That's not fair. Why does he get a blow job?" The nurse says, "Sorry, that's the difference between Blue Cross and an HMO."

Categories: Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Masturbation Jokes)
Anonymous