Share this joke via Email (Step 2)
Share this Joke on Twitter
Registered Users Only
Registered Users Only
Get link for other Social Networks
- Home
- Popular Jokes
- New Releases
- Joke of the Day
- Browse By Category
- Browse Writers
- Contests
- Submit Joke
- Contact Us
- Info
All rights reserved.
- Home
- >
- Categories
- >
- Sex Jokes
- >
- All
Sex Jokes
Sword Playing
Two bums were sitting on a street curb, bored as ever. Then, one of them got an idea, saying "I know, let's play swords!" "Play swords?" asked the other. "How?" "Simple. Whip it out, smack it till it's hard, and we both whack'em together like swords." So they did, and they were running up and down the street, smacking their dicks together playing swords. Then, a gay man walked up to them and inquired about their actions. "We're playing swords!" yelled one of the bums. The gay man wanted to play too. An hour later, the gay man was becoming exhausted. "I'm tired," he said. He bent over saying, "kill me!, kill me!!"
- 2
- 4
- 1
Fair Price
A man finds himself staying in a Vegas hotel room while on a business trip. Not wishing to be alone, he calls an "escort" service for some company. Soon, a strikingly beautiful hooker arrives. Without preamble the hooker says, "I want to tell you right up front, my minimum fee is $500, and that's for a hand job."
"$500 for a hand job? Why, that's outrageous!" the man exclaimed. "No hand job in the world could be worth $500!"
The hooker summons the man to the window and points down onto the parking lot below. "See that cherry red Maserati down there? I own that because of what I can do with my hands."
Against his better judgement, the man pays the $500 and sure enough the hooker sends him into utter bliss, by far the best sexual experience of his life. After he recuperates he says to the hooker, "God that was fantastic!! How much for a blowjob?"
"$2500," the hooker replied.
"$2500 for a blowjob?" Cried the astonished man. "That's way too much!"
Again the hooker summons the man to the window, this time pointing across the street. "Do you see that large medical building right off the strip there? I own that because of what I can do with my mouth."
"Oh no," moans the man, "this is gonna break me, but I just have to try it." Once again the hooker takes him to the edge of the universe and back, far surpassing the pleasure he received earlier, leaving him utterly drained and totally gratified. As soon as the man can speak again, he says, "I just have to know. How much do you get for pussy?"
The hooker drags the man to the window for a third time, points and proclaims, "Do you see the MGM Grand Hotel sitting there on the corner? I could own that if I had a pussy!"
- 0
- 4
- 1
Tradesman
Q: Did you hear of the guy who could literally master any craft, provided he masturbated before learning it?
A: He was jack off all trades.
- 1
- 3
- 0
