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Measure Up
Four friends met up after a game of golf, and while one man went to get drinks, the other three spoke about how successful their sons are:
Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a sports car dealership and just gave his best friend a Ferrari 488 GTB.
Guy 2: Thats nothing, my son runs Gulfstream and just gave his best friend a G650.
Guy 3: Well my son is more success than that, he owns an architecture firm and just gave his best friend a French Chateau.
Guy 4 walks back to the group of the other 3 guys.
Guy 4: Hey guys what are we talking about?
Guy 1: Oh, we are talking about how successful our sons are.
Guy 4: Well, my son is a Gay stripper.
Guy 2: You must be so disappointed. What caused him to be so unsuccessful in life?
Guy 4: Actually, he is doing very well for himself. He just got a new Ferrari, his own private jet, and a French castle from his three boyfriends.
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Camel Betting
Two guys are on duty at a french foreign legion fort. One says to the other one, "See that camel over there? I'll bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air. The other guy says "No way". The first guy walks around to the back of the camel with two bricks, reaches in between the camel's legs and crashes the bricks together. The camel jumps 30 feet in the air. A couple of days later the first guy says to the second guy, "I bet you I can make that camel nod his head yes, then shake his head no." The second guy says, "You got me last time, but there's no way you can make that dumb animal nod his head yes then shake it no." The first guy takes the same two bricks, walks around to the front of the camel, holds up the bricks and says, "Remember what I did last time?". (Camel nods). "Want me to do it again?"
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A Man Gets Viagra
This man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get ready for when his wife gets home. He calls her on the phone, and says, "I'll be home in an hour." "Perfect," she replies. The man thinks her agreement is because the Doctor told him to take his Viagra an hour before. He takes the Viagra and waits. Well, and hour goes by, the man is ready to go, but no wife? She calls him on the phone and she says, "Traffic is terrible. I won't be there for about an hour and a half." The man, frustrated, calls his Doctor for advice. "What should I do?" he asks. The Doctor replied, "It would be a shame to waste it. Do you have a housekeeper around?" "Yes" the man replied. "Well, maybe you can occupy yourself with her instead?" said the Doctor. The man then replied with dismay, "But I don't need Viagra with the housekeeper..."
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