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The best jokes and joke writers!

Fish

Q: Why are fish in the sea smarter than animals on land.

A: Because they travel in schools.

Little Johnny and the School Play

Little Johnny tried out for the school play. The teacher gave him these lines to practice: "Hark! A pistol shot! There lies a lady with hope in her soul. I think I'll snatch a kiss and run into the forest. By William Shakespeare. "Little Johnny practiced and practiced and did the lines perfectly every time. The night of the play it was his turn to speak. This is what he said: "Hark! A pigeon shit! There lies a lady with soap in her hole. I think I'll kiss her snatch and run into the forest. By William Snakeshit... Horseshit... Oh, shit! I didn't want to be in this damn play anyway!"

Dictionary Spelling

How do you spell elephant? E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t" That's not how the dictionary spells it" "You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelled it!"

Yo Mama - School Grades

Yo' Mama is so dirty, her teachers gave her A's just for not raising her hand.

Grey Matter

Q: Why do elephants do well in school?

A: Because they have a lot of grey matter!