"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait."
Bubba was Alabama's star lineman. He was great at football, but not at academics. The principal was letting it slide until one day he decided that Bubba's grades HAD to be better. They decided to make him take a test. It was only one math problem. Everyone wanted to support Bubba out in the stands, so they held the test in the middle of the football stadium, so everyone could see. His math teacher went out to the center of the field with Bubba. It was test time. The teacher said, ''Ok, Bubba. What is six plus three?''
Bubba sat and thought. Then he said, ''nine,'' confidently.
But out in the stands, everyone was yelling, ''Aw, c'mon. Give him another chance!''
Prom Booty Call
Hurry up, I only have the limo for 10 more minutes.
In 1989, a Union Bridge, Md., high school permitted a female student, Tawana Hammond, 17, to try out for its football team under the pressure of a federal statute that bars school discrimination on the basis of gender. On her first scrimmage, Tawana, a running back, was tackled and suffered massive internal injuries. In October 1992, she filed a $1.5 million lawsuit against the county board of education for its alleged failure to tell her how dangerous football is.
Q: Why are cheerleaders on the bottom of the pyramid smarter than the ones at the top?
A: Because they understand.