Shit In Hand

Q: What did the pollock say when he ran into the bar with a piece of shit in his hand?
A: Luck must be on my side tonight, look at what I almost stepped in.

Conductors Change a Bulb

Q: How many conductors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven. [Indignant nose upturning] Of course, I wouldn't expect you to understand.

Fish Jokes 2

Q: Which fish can perform operations?
A: A Sturgeon!
Q: Where do little fishes go every morning?
A: To plaice school!
Q: What fish goes up the river at 100 mph?
A: A motor pike!
Q: How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
A: He prawned everything!
Q: What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather?
A: Skate!
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: Fsh!
Q: What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbors?
A: A hermit crab!
Q: What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
A: As far away as possible!
Q: Why did the whale cross the road?
A: To get to the other tide!