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Religion Jokes - Nun / Priest Jokes
Sex Addict
A super hot chick walks into her church and says to the priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." The priest says, "Tell me dear, what's on your mind?" "Well Father, I am a sex addict, and lately I discovered that I like doing it with priests. I had sex with the one from the church two blocks from here, the one five blocks from here, and also the one from the church nearby." The priest says, "It's okay, just pray three times a day for one week and it will all be okay." As the girl tries to go out, the priest says, "Oh, and don't forget that I will always be here for you!"
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Irish Sinner
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?" Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat." The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"
Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all." With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?" Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat.
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Out of Gas
Two nuns were driving alone out in the boonies. They ran out of gas. Fortunately they could walk to a gas station not far away, where they asked to purchase a can of gasoline.
"I'm sorry, sister," said the attendant, "but all I have for you to carry it in is an old chamberpot." The nuns agreed that this would be fine. They returned to the car.
As they were pouring the gasoline into the tank, a man drove by, stopped his car, and said, "Oh sister, if only I had your faith."
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