Religion Jokes - Muslim Jokes

Iraqi TV Guide

Iraqi TV Guide:

MONDAY

8:00 - Husseinfeld
8:30 - Mad About Everything
9:00 - Suddenly Sanctions
9:30 - Allah McBeal
TUESDAY

8:00 - Wheel of Fortune and Terror
8:30 - The Price is Right if Saddam Says it's Right
9:00 - Children are Forbidden to Say The Darndest Things
9:30 - Iraq's Funniest Public Execution Bloopers
WEDNESDAY

8:00 - Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer
8:30 - Diagnosis: Heresy
9:00 - Just Shoot Me
9:30 - Veilwatch
THURSDAY

8:00 - Mahatma Loves Chachi
8:30 - M*U*S*T*A*S*H
9:00 - Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses
9:30 - My Two Baghdads
FRIDAY

8:00 - Judge Saddam
8:30 - Captured Iranian Soldiers Say The Darndest Things
9:00 - Achmed's Creek
9:30 - No-witness News

Categories: Religion Jokes (Muslim Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Muslim Heaven

Three Muslims died and went to Heaven. When they approached the gate, St. Peter said "Sorry, only Christians are allowed in Heaven." The Muslims said "But we are good Christians!" St. Peter replied "Okay, if you're good Christians then tell me what is Easter?" The first Muslim went up to St. Peter and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a white bunny suit and hopped around delivering eggs to children!" St. Peter shook his head, and said "Next!" The second Muslim guy then came up and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a red and white suit and flied around delivering presents to good children!" St. Peter sighed, and said "Next!" So the last Muslim guy comes up to old St. Peter and says, "Oh, I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man died on the cross for the people, and they buried him in a cave. After three days the Jesus man got up, went out of the cave, saw his shadow, and there was 6 more weeks of winter!"

Categories: Holiday Jokes (Easter Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Muslim Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes) , Religion Jokes (God Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Muslim Grandfather

A Muslim family was considering putting their grandfather Mohammed in a nursing home. All the Muslim facilities were completely full, so they had to put him in an Christian home. After a few weeks in the Christian facility, they came to visit Grandpa. "How do you like it here?" asked the grandson" It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," said grandpa. We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you since you are a little different from everyone." "Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents," Mohammed said with a big smile." There's a musician here - he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years, and everyone still calls him Maestro! There is a judge in here - he's 95 year old.. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him Your Honor. There's a dentist here - 90 years old. He hasn't fixed a tooth for 25 years, and everyone still calls him Doctor. And me. I haven't had sex for 45 years, and they still call me The Fucking Muslim.

Categories: Religion Jokes (Muslim Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Grandfather Jokes)
Anonymous