Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother. His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful. His grandmother remarked... "doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?" Bobby said, "Yes, God did it and he did it left handed.
This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him "What makes you say God did this with his left hand?" "Well," said Bobby, "we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's right hand!"
Jesus' Disciples Bring Drugs
Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing the world. In an effort to solve this dilemma, he decided that a few apostles would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these substances did.
Two days after the operation is implemented, the disciples begin to return. Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in each disciple: "Who is it?" "It's Mark," Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring Mark?" "Marijuana from Colombia." "Very well son, come in." Another soft knock is heard. "Who is it?" "It's Matthew," Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring Matthew?" "Cocaine from Bolivia." "Very well son, come in."
At the next knock Jesus asks, "Who is it?" "It's John," Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring John?" "Crack from New York." "Very well son, come in." Someone starts pounding on the door. "Who is it?" "It's Judas," Jesus opens the door. "What did you bring Judas?" "FREEZE! THIS IS THE FBI!"
Q: What is the difference between Jesus, and a picture of Jesus?
A: You can hang the picture with just one nail.
Q: What's the difference between a circumcision and a crucifixion?
A: In a crucifixion, they throw away the whole Jew.
More Cool Bumper Stickers
- I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
- There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
- WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
- I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
- Jesus paid for our sins... now lets get our money's worth.
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- Prevent inbreeding: ban Country & Western music.
- Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
- Lord save me from your followers.
- God must love stupid people. He made so many.
- I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
- Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down.
- I took an IQ test and the results were negative.