Let Ryan Do It
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait'". Kevin turned to his younger brother & said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
Jesus Calling for Peter
It's the day of Jesus' crucifixion, and Peter is consoling Mary at the bottom of the hill in Golgotha. Suddenly, Peter hears Jesus calling to him, summoning him up the hill. Frantically, Peter sets off to make his way to his Savior. Unwillingly, he is stopped by two guards. Again, Jesus calls to Peter, and again, Peter attempts to answer, but the guards bring him to a hault. Peter weeps in remorse. One last time, Jesus moans for Peter's appearance. Determined not to fail his Grace, Peter shoves past the standing guards and triumphantly stands at the bleeding feet of his King. "My Lord, anything for you. What is it, my King?" "Peter," Jesus painstakingly replies. "Yes, what is it you must tell me?" Peter anxiously asks. "Peter, I, I, I can see your house from up here."
Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother. His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful. His grandmother remarked... "doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?" Bobby said, "Yes, God did it and he did it left handed.
This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him "What makes you say God did this with his left hand?" "Well," said Bobby, "we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's right hand!"
Q: What's the difference between a circumcision and a crucifixion?
A: In a crucifixion, they throw away the whole Jew.
More Cool Bumper Stickers
- I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
- There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
- WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
- I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
- Jesus paid for our sins... now lets get our money's worth.
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- Prevent inbreeding: ban Country & Western music.
- Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
- Lord save me from your followers.
- God must love stupid people. He made so many.
- I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
- Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down.
- I took an IQ test and the results were negative.