Jesus vs. Satan
One day, Jesus and Satan decided to settle which one of them was the best programmer. God was chosen to be the judge. Jesus and Satan got 10 hours to create the best program they could for the PC. When 10 hours had past, the power suddenly went out and all the data disappeared from both monitors. Moments later, the power came back on. On Jesus's monitor, all the data had returned to its previous state, whereas Satan's monitor remained blank. Satan got really angry and complained to God. God was quiet for a moment, then he laughed and said, "Jesus saves!"
Caught Napping?...Try This One!
Just pick your head up real fast and say "...in JESUS' name...AMEN!"
Calling A Meeting
The Pope calls a meeting of all the cardinals. When they have all assembled at the Vatican, he takes them into the meeting hall and states, "I have some really fantastic news and some very terrible news." Of course, all the cardinals want to hear the good news first, so the Pope tells them, "Jesus Christ has returned to the world. The time of judgement is at hand, and our faith in his existence is justified." After the commotion dies down a bit, one of the cardinals speaks up, asking what the terrible news is. The Pope replies, "He was calling from Salt Lake City."
Three Wise Men
The three wise men are out for a stroll when they come across a stable. The three of them decide to duck inside. On the way in, one of the wise men hits his head on the low entranceway. "Jesus Christ!" he says. Joseph says, "Quick, Mary, write that down! It's a hell of a lot better than Clyde!"
A Rabbi and a Priest on a Train
A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbi leans over and asks, "So how high can you advance in your organization?"
The Priest says, "If I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop."
"Well, could you get any higher than that?" asks the Rabbi.
"I suppose that if my works are seen in a very good light that I might be made an ArchBishop," said the Priest a bit cautiously.
"Is there any way that you might go higher than that?"
"If all the Saints should smile, I guess I could be made a Cardinal"
"Could you be anything higher than a Cardinal?" probed the Rabbi.
Hesitating a little bit, the Priest said "I suppose that I could be elected Pope, but..."
So the Rabbi says "And could you be anything higher than that? Is there any way to go up from being the Pope?"
"What!!! I should be the Messiah himself!?!"
The Rabbi leaned back and said, "One of our boys made it."