The Big Flood

It had been raining for days and days, and a terrible flood had come over the land. The waters rose so high that one man was forced to climb onto the roof of his house. As the waters rose higher and higher, a man in a rowboat appeared and told him to get in.
"No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith that the Lord will save me."
So the man in the rowboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him. The waters rose higher and higher, and suddenly a speedboat appeared. "Climb in!" shouted the man in the speedboat.
"No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith that the Lord will save me."
So the man in the speedboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him. The waters continued to rise. A helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the man on the roof.
"No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord the Lord will save me."
So the helicopter went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him. The waters rose higher and higher, and eventually they rose so high that the man on the roof was washed away, and alas, the poor man drowned. Upon arriving in heaven, the man marched straight over to God. "Heavenly Father," he said, "I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?"
God gave him a puzzled look, and replied "I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"

New Drug

Did you here about the pharmaceutical company? They developed a new drug that, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent and become a nun.
The FDA refused to license it, though. Seems it was habit-forming.

Ahmed's Clock

Q: What did Ahmed say about his sudden fame after building a clock?
A: "I didn't think it would blow up like that."