Golfer Hit the Ball a Long Way

A golfer hit his drive 300 yards right down the middle on the first hole. When it came down, however, it hit a sprinkler and the ball went sideways into the woods. He was angry, but he went into the woods and hit a very hard 2 iron which hit a tree and bounced back straight a thim. It hit him in the temple and killed him. He was at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter looked at the big book and said, "I see you were a golfer, is that correct?" "Yes, I am," he replied. St Peter then said, "Do you hit the ball a long way?" The golfer replied, "You bet. After all, I got here in 2, didn't I?"

Out of Gas

Two nuns were driving alone out in the boonies. They ran out of gas. Fortunately they could walk to a gas station not far away, where they asked to purchase a can of gasoline.
"I'm sorry, sister," said the attendant, "but all I have for you to carry it in is an old chamberpot." The nuns agreed that this would be fine. They returned to the car.
As they were pouring the gasoline into the tank, a man drove by, stopped his car, and said, "Oh sister, if only I had your faith."

Black White and Red

Q: What's black, white, and red all over?
A: A nun falling down the stairs.