Religion Jokes

On the Edge

There’s a knock on the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter looks out and sees a man waiting to come in. Saint Peter goes out and is about to begin his interview when the man disappears. A short time later there’s another knock. Again Saint Peter gets the door, sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, and the man disappears. Saint Peter has just gone back inside when there’s yet another knock. Sure enough, the man is back standing at the Gates. “Are you playing games?” says Saint Peter. “No,” replies the man. “ They’re trying to resuscitate me.”

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes)
Anonymous

Golfer Hit the Ball a Long Way

A golfer hit his drive 300 yards right down the middle on the first hole. When it came down, however, it hit a sprinkler and the ball went sideways into the woods. He was angry, but he went into the woods and hit a very hard 2 iron which hit a tree and bounced back straight a thim. It hit him in the temple and killed him. He was at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter looked at the big book and said, "I see you were a golfer, is that correct?" "Yes, I am," he replied. St Peter then said, "Do you hit the ball a long way?" The golfer replied, "You bet. After all, I got here in 2, didn't I?"

Categories: Sports Jokes (Golf Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Irish Sinner

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?" Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat." The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"
Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all." With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?" Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Nun / Priest Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes)
Anonymous