Lawyers In Heaven

Saint Peter was having a slow day at the Pearly Gates so he took a little stroll. He noticed that the fence between heaven and hell was in need of some repair.  So he hollers over the fence to Lucifer. Saint Peter: "This fence needs some repair. I'll see to it that it gets fixed if you will help pay for it." Lucifer: "If you want it fixed, you pay for it." Saint Peter: "The fence is partly your responsibility and you will help pay for it or I will sue you for that amount." Lucifer: "Ha!! And where do you think you are going to get a lawyer?!"

The Right Way to Ask a Question

A Jewish guy in a London hotel calls the operator and asks, in broken English with a heavy Lithuanian-Yiddish accent, for number 266418. A short time later, someone knocks and when he opens the door he sees 2 beautiful and sexy girls who asked him, "Have you ordered 2 shikses for one night"?

Jewish Mothers

Did you hear about the tramp who walked up to the Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady, "I haven't eaten in three days?"  "Force yourself," she replied.