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Religion Jokes
Two Things To Worry About
There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well or you are sick.
If you are well, there is nothing to worry about; but if you are sick, there are two things to worry about: either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about; if you die, there are only two things to worry about: either you will go to heaven or to hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But, if you go to hell you'll be so darned busy shaking hands with friends you won't have time to worry...
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Jonah and the Whale
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they were a very large mammal their throat was very small. The little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated a whale could not swallow a human it was impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
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Nuns Walking Down an Alley
Two nuns are walking down an alley when two guys jump out of the dark. They start raping the nuns and the first nun says, "Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do!" The second one says, "This one does!"
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