PMS in the Bible

The minister was presenting his Sunday morning service to the congregation. He stated that everything that mankind had experienced or would ever experience was discussed or mentioned in the Bible.
After the sermon, he was shaking hands with the congregation as they filed out of the church. A woman came up to the minister and said, "Preacher, I heard your message today and I really believe that what you said is true. However in my readings of the Scripture, I have never seen any mention of PMS."
The minister scratched his head... thought for a moment and said, "Well sister just off the top of my head I cannot think of a passage but I'm sure that it exists. See me after next week's service and I will give you an answer."
The next Sunday as the preacher was again shaking the hands of the leaving congregation the woman again came up to him and asked if he had in fact gotten her an answer.
The preacher said, "Yes, my dear, that passage does in fact exist." She said, "Well please tell me where PMS is mentioned in the Bible. I've read it many, many times and I have never seen it mentioned at all."
Preacher says, "Its right in the book of Matthew." She said, "No way, I've read that several times and its not mentioned at all!"
He said, "It certaintly is, if you remember in the Christmas story, it states very specifically... that Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem!"

Satan Talk

Two boys walk home from Sunday school after hearing a powerful sermon on the devil. One boy says, "I'm really scared about all this Satan stuff." The other boy replies, "Don't worry. You know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad again."

Lawyer at the Pearly Gates

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter started to escort him inside, when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some sort of mistake. "I'm much too young to die! I'm only 35!" St. Peter agreed that 35 did seem to be a bit young to be entering the pearly gates, and agreed to check on his case. After investigating, he told the attorney, "I'm afraid that there is no mistake my son. We verified your age on the basis of the number of hours you've billed to your clients, and you're at least 108 years old!"