The Pope and Clinton

After a meeting with the Pope, Bill Clinton held a press conference and announced that they had a very successful conference and had agreed on about 60% of what they discussed. When asked what they discussed, Clinton replied: "The Ten Commandments."

Proud Of Daddy

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

Jesus' Disciples Said

And Jesus said unto his disciples, "Whom do men say that I am?" And His disciples answered unto Him, "Master, thou art the supreme manifestation of omnipotent ecclesiastical authority, the absolute, divine, sacerdotal monarch." And Jesus said, "What?"