Q: Why do they have Feta cheese at a Greek wedding?
A: To keep the flies off the bride!
3 Times a Virgin
A woman had been married three times and was still a virgin. Somebody asked her how that could be possible. "Well," she said. "The first time I married an octogenarian and he died before we could consummate the marriage." "The second time I married a naval officer and war broke out on our wedding day." "The third time I married a Microsoft Windows programmer and he just sat on the edge of the bed and kept telling me how good it was going to be."
West Virginia Hick Marriage
Two West Virginia hicks get married and spend their honeymoon in a local motel. Right before they consummate the marriage, the women says, "Be gentle, I'm a virgin." The man is visibly upset and storms off to his family's home. He tells them what happened and his dad says, "If she isn't good enough for her own family, she sure as hell isn't good enough for you!"
Helpful Wedding Hints
Avoid social blunders with these helpful wedding hints:
- Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
- Is it okay to bring a date to a wedding? Not if you are the groom.
- When dancing, never remove undergarments; no matter how hot it is.
- Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you cut.
- A bridal veil made of window screen is not only cost-effective, but also a proven fly deterrent.
- For the groom, at least rent a tux.
- A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a nice appearance.
- Though uncomfortable, say yes to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
A student engineer in the office got engaged some time ago. At her wedding, I was reminding her of the first day she wore her ring. None of the other women in the office even noticed. Finally, in sheer and total exasperation, she said "Boy !!! It's so warm in here today, I think I'll take off my ring."