FIFA World Cup Condoms

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of FIFA World Cup condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. When he arrives home, he tells his wife about the purchase he's just made. "FIFA World Cup condoms?" she blurts, "What makes them so special?" "There are three colors," he explains, "gold, silver and bronze." "So what color are you gonna wear tonight?" she asks with a grin. "Gold of course," says the proud man. The wife responds, "Why don't you wear silver -- it would be nice if you came second for a change!"

Hamster Skin

Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week.  Took her to the fair last night, and it took me three hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.

Eternal Talking

His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan. "Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant. "She spoke without interruption for about forty years," said the Irishman.