The Boarder

An eighty-year-old man went to his doctor for a checkup. The man was getting married in a month to a girl 60 years his junior. The doctor tried to talk him out of the marriage, but it didn't work.
"If you want your marriage to last," the doctor conceded, "I say you at least take in a boarder." The old man agreed.
The old man didn't see the doctor until they met at a fund-raiser a year later. The old man says, "Doc, congratulate me, my wife is pregnant."
"That's good news," said the doctor. "I knew the boarder would help."
"Oh," said the old man with a wicked grin, "and the boarder's pregnant as well."

Living Proof

A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

Marriage Advice

My marriage counselor said, "When your wife annoys you, go to your happy place." I replied, "That'll make things worse. She hates when I go to the bar."