S & M

My wife and I are into S & M she sleeps and I masturbate.

A painful adjustment

Adjusting to marriage sometimes poses some unexpected problems. But when I came upon a friend of mine in a bar the night after his wedding, I had to ask exactly what he was doing there instead of with his new bride. "Well, you see, this morning when I got up," he said, "I was barely awake from a wonderful night of love-making. More out of habit than anything else, I put a fifty dollar bill on the dresser."  I told him not to worry about it, that his new wife probably wouldn't even think anything of it;  that he could always say he left her some spending money. "No no !" he half wailed/half said, "You don't understand. She was half asleep too and gave me $30 change."

Marriage and Cheating

Marriage was invented because it's only so much fun to cheat at cards.