My girlfriend's dog died the other day so I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog.
She was furious, she said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
Reasons For Being Stood Up
Reasons Dates Have Given For Standing Someone Up
- I showed up early and decided I just didn't feel like going out after all, so I went home before you arrived.
- My dog died.
- My neighbor's bird died, and I had to console my neighbor.
- I figured that probably wasn't your real picture, so I didn't bother coming over.
- I overslept.
- I took the wrong freeway exit and got lost, and after 40 minutes, I gave up, turned around, and went home.
- I know I said I'd be at home at 8:00 P.M., but I went out to a movie at 6:00 P.M. and had such a good time out after meeting some friends at the movie that I forgot all about our date and went out to dinner with them.
- I had the address, but forgot which city you lived in.
- Yesterday was the last day of my vacation, so I went two-stepping and ran into my ex there, and we fell in love again during a slow dance, so I can't date you any more, but I'd still like us to be friends.
- My roommate overdosed and I had to take him to the emergency room.
I'm making a graph of my past relationships...
I have an 'ex'-axis and a 'why?'-axis.
I asked a chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Man: To make a woman laugh is the second best method to get her to sleep with you.
Woman: And what is the best method?
Woman: You are funny!
Man: Good choice.