We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Chinese Date

I asked a chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Date Creep

Man: To make a woman laugh is the second best method to get her to sleep with you.

Woman: And what is the best method?

Man: Chloroform.

Woman: You are funny!

Man: Good choice.

Expensive Date

I went out with my girlfriend and asked her, "Why is it every time I go out with you, I end up spending hundreds of dollars?" She answered, "Because I'm a prostitute."

Marriage Not

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?" The Princess immediately said, "No!" And the Prince lived happily ever after, and rode motorcycles and dated thin, long-legged, full-breasted women and hunted and fished and raced cars, and went to titty bars and dated ladies half his age and drank whiskey, beer, and Captain Morgan, and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony, and dated cheerleaders and kept his house and guns, and ate spam and potato chips and beans, and blew enormous farts, and never got cheated on while he was at work, and all his friends and family thought he was friggin' cool as hell, and he had tons of money in the bank, and left the toilet seat up. The End.

Top 10 Things A Girl Won't Say

1) I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!

2) Shouldn't you be out drinking with your friends?

3) Great fart!! Rip another one!

4) Pet names are silly. I just call it my c*nt.

5) You should see the shit I just birthed.

6) I'd rather play GTA5 than go shopping.

7) Let's start subscribing to Hustler.

8) Would you like to see a video of me going down on my friend?

9) I'll swallow it all. I love the taste of it!

10) Are you sure you've had enough to drink? I'm buying.