Dead Mailman

A couple drives to the hospital, as the wife is in labor. The doctor alerts them that she invented a machine that will transfer some of the labor pain to the father, if they'd like. The husband eagerly says, "Give it all to me!" The couple returns home with a bouncing baby boy, only to find the mailman dead on their lawn.

Solo Quest

Q: Why was Han Solo suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
A: It was Luke warm.

Shower Talk

A man and his wife shower together. The husband puts his hand on her breast and says, "These are nice, but if they were a bit firmer you could walk around without a bra for me." Then the husband pats her butt and says, "This is nice, but if it was a bit firmer, you could walk around without panties for me." The wife turns around to her husband, grabs his groin and says, "This is nice, but if it was a little bigger, I wouldn't need your brother."