We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Marital Bliss

I married a beautiful woman - a smart one too.

Hopefully they’ll never meet.

Spending the Night

My friend asked me, "Why are you getting a divorce?" I responded, "My wife wasn't home the entire night and in the morning she said she spent the night at her sister's house." He said, "So?" And I responded, "She's lying. I spent the night at her sister's house!"

Explanation

The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort in Hilton Head. They were looking all fresh, and eager to enjoy their two week vacation/honeymoon. The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said, "Well, hi Jimmy, how ya been lover? Long time no see." A frosty silence prevailed until the couple reached their room. Once inside, the piqued bride demanded: "And just who was THAT woman!?" The groom wiped his brow and said, "Just relax honey. Please! I'm going to have enough trouble explaining you to her."

Faithful

A man is only as faithful as his options.

Plant Care

As I was watering the plants, my wife told me

"After you are done watering the plants, we need to talk about what I saw on your phone".

It's been 4 days, and I'm still watering the plants.