Blind Date

A girl goes on a blind date. The blind date hadn't been all that great, and she was relieved the evening was finally over. At her apartment door, her date suddenly said, "Hey! You wanna see my underwear?" Before she could respond, he had dropped his pants, right there in the hall, revealing that he wasn't wearing any underwear. She glanced down and said, "Nice design - does it also come in men's sizes?"

Reasons For Being Stood Up

Reasons Dates Have Given For Standing Someone Up

• I showed up early and decided I just didn't feel like going out after all, so I went home before you arrived.
• My dog died.
• My neighbor's bird died, and I had to console my neighbor.
• I figured that probably wasn't your real picture, so I didn't bother coming over.
• I overslept.
• I took the wrong freeway exit and got lost, and after 40 minutes, I gave up, turned around, and went home.
• I know I said I'd be at home at 8:00 P.M., but I went out to a movie at 6:00 P.M. and had such a good time out after meeting some friends at the movie that I forgot all about our date and went out to dinner with them.
• I had the address, but forgot which city you lived in.
• Yesterday was the last day of my vacation, so I went two-stepping and ran into my ex there, and we fell in love again during a slow dance, so I can't date you any more, but I'd still like us to be friends.
• My roommate overdosed and I had to take him to the emergency room.

Spot Seems Depressed

Jason gets off the elevator on the 50th floor and nervously knocks on his blind date's door. She opens it and is very beautiful and charming. "I'll be ready in a few minutes," she says. "Why don't you play with Spot, my dog, while you're waiting? He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up, and if you make a hoop with your arms, he'll jump through." The dog follows Jason onto the balcony and starts rolling over. Jason makes a hoop with his arms and Spot jumps through, over the balcony railing. Just then, Jason's date walks out. "Isn't Spot the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?" "To tell the the truth, " he replies, "Spot seemed a little depressed to me!"