Relationship Jokes

A Double Bogey

A man and his wife were playing golf with another couple. On the first tee, the man hits his drive pretty deeply into the rough and after finding his ball, realizes that a maintenance shed is immediately in his line of sight for his next shot. He's about ready to chip back into the fairway when the other guy playing with him says, "Wait a minute. If we open the front and back doors of the shed, you can hit your 2 iron low and go right through the shed."
After eyeing this for a moment, the first guy takes his 2, lines up, hits a nice low shot which caroms off the side of the shed, hits his wife in the head and kills her!
Needless to say, the guy was devastated -- so much so that he gave up golf. After several years one of his old golfing friends talked him into playing again, telling him he had grieved enough and should really consider playing golf again -- he loved the game and his wife would have wanted it that way.
So he did go out to play, and as luck would have it, on the first tee he hit into the rough right in front of the same maintenance shed. Again he was about to chip into the fairway when his playing partner, not the same guy as before, said, "Hold on. We can open the doors of the shed and you can hit a low ball right through it."
The guy looked a bit wistful for a moment and then said, "No, I really don't want to do that. I tried that shot several years ago and took a double bogey on this hole!"

Categories: Sports Jokes (Golf Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Anonymous

Granny Rules

My Grandad was wounded by a German during the war
Granny Schneider found him in bed with another woman and shot him

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (German Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Domestic Violence Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips

Catching Them in the Act

It's Saturday morning and Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf, when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So Bob heads back to the clubhouse and phones home. "Hello?" says a little girl's voice. "Hi, honey, it's Daddy," says Bob. "Is Mommy near the phone?" "No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank." After a brief pause, Bob says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!" "Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!" "Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car's just pulled up outside the house." "Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy." "And what happened?" "Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead." "Oh, my God! What about Uncle Frank?" "He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too, and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool. But he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too." There is a long pause. "Swimming pool? Is this 854-7039?"

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Jokes about Families , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Anonymous