Cruel Punishment

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."

Introvert Dating

Q: What's an introverts best pick up line?
A: Why don't I go back to my place?

Saintly Naivete

I've never been much on fashion, but got quite a few compliments on a new sports jacket I wore to work one day.  My secretary asked me where I got it and I told her that it was a surprise from my wife. I went home early yesterday and there it was, on the back of a kitchen chair.